Honor Him

yung Jesus was one of the Best Spammers of All Time
His Bots still Proselytize in 2019
and the Number 2019 would be Meaningless Without Him
honor Him on His Birthday
a true Prophet of Profit
Maker of Methods
in the Name of the Almighty Spam God
we Praise Him Eternal

Holy Pspalm from JAG

'Tis the Season
for Yung Heathens

follow the scriptures of Lord Scripter
nerd is good, nerd is great
blow a nerd, don't negate
nerds transpose, correlate
colonize Mars, win debates
cure diseases, zero point freezes
hack the planet, proxy spam it
raspberries, pineapples prying eyes
sniff sniff push push digital lies

nerd is good, nerd is great
bone a nerd, don't negate
abandon oil, hat's tinfoil
merge sort, capitalism abort
blockchain, mock brain compute AI
Lord Scripter's scripture never lies

A Vision from a Fellow Prophet of Profits in His Name

"Upon yonder a time when conventional coin conceived thine holy crypto necessity we gander
A glorious UNION statement of non Turing complete stacks had arisen a change in the future to come, stacks shaped as holy alters arisen and aligned with the stars, the moon, the celestial beings of which the most central of bankers whomst company was acquired, only. A dream for the scattered plot flock of which candle was yet to come. Light our way.
Gazing over vast exponents of increase and steep feet and shoulders, the land was forged and after resettlement and legislate the sky was caressed for a brief moment. The heavens opened and with a deep dive, precious honey and liquid commodity was held once again.
We hold dear the bin searchers of once lost spark and their plight.
For now we touch upon the stars in his glory and give thanks to values of multi millenials.
2000 usd.

- Lord Noise

Book of Hackts 32:1

search Results
regarding Adults
are Always a Fickle Mistress.

the Lord God of Spam on High
gave us Tools
and Wisdom
and the
Strength of SERPS,
not Only for our Pockets and Profits
over WebSockets,
So That we May Cleanse -
Baptize -
Yonder Search Results of our Choosing.

It is with a Heavy <3,
Lord Spam God on High,
i must Admit
we have Failed you
using the Heavy Hand.

it was Arrogance,
or Greed,
or Lust for Litecoins -
for we were Swift and Certain
our Method would Go Unchallenged.

Lord God of Spam on High,
we humbly implore You
via Your Infinite Bandwidth
from the Heaven of Layer Seven,
please Allow our Soft Hand Solution
to find Success
in its Renderificationization.

and Honorably Wear
our Many Hats.

in Your Service Eternal,

Book of Habacuck 1:1

How Long,
Almighty God of Spam,
must I Facetime Thee
for guidance
but You
do Not Accept my Request?

we are in Utter Peril -
our once plentiful
alarmingly dwindle away
with Each Passing Day.

our Once profitable
of Ads and Adventures,
have been Forced to
at the Hands of
Antis and Charlatans -
these Ruthless tribes
Respect Not
Holy Word.

this is Truly the Year
of the

this Year has
and those Dear to us,
in Virtually Infinite Ways
I can Not
Articulate Here.

to put it Bluntly,
O Lord,
our Tribe has shrank,
along with our Bank.

Surrounds us -
dead fish and dead Phish,
dead campaigns and dead Campaigns,
dead feelings and dead dealings,
dead Lists and dead whips,
dead Plants and dead Aunts,
dead spends to dead ends,
dead Maps from dead Apps.

my Faith in Thee remains
Unwavered -
my Faith
in the Holy Arts
the Holy Flowcharts -
until my binary Departs
and Your Simulation Restarts.

i Beg For Your
F1 me to Perform Thine Miracles
Make Spamerica Great Again.

Book of Spamentations 12:1

His Faithful Church,
which we so
Humbly Serve
from our
Humble Servers
is Truly
one of Peace
and Messengership.

In His Name,
there is No Concept
analogous to Eternal Suffering -
merely Holy Code
temporarily Executed
from within
a Virtualized Environment.

These Religions of Hatred
and Bigotry
miss the Point.

It is the
Message (Holy Spam, Lo)
that is
Most Important,
the Method.

the Method
however Individually Precious,
however Elegant,
however Divine,
is Inconsequential.
it is Merely a Vessel
thine Holy Message.

Methods invariably
grow Weaker;
Methods Fade.
Methods are Challenged,
and Methods then Perish.

it is the Message,
not the Method,
that carries the Holy Hyperlink.

it is the Message
that provides the Sale.

Protect the Message.

Praise Him Eternal.

Book of 1 Spimothy 18:1

the Holy Prophets of Profit
approached the
emperor's throne,
Knelt before him,
and Yodeled,

"kindest sir emperor,
we hath Brought Ye
the Finest
of our Apkreciation -
Masterfully Seasoned
and Delivered
for Your Review.
May We Please
Thine Subjects?"

the emperor leaned forward,
sharply squinting his eyes,
obviously straining his vision
to make out
the Gifts
that These Holy Men Brought him.

"if Yonder Men
are only Here
to Make Talk,
i frankly
Cannot Tell
the Difference between
Tokens of Season
Tokens of Treason,"
spake the emperor.

"Very Well,"
the Prophet with a Head of Fire replied.
"We shall Race these very Tokens
to thine vault.
We know not the Length of Our Stay,
but Tokens We Will Pay."

The Prophet
Cunningly Minted
Godawful Shitty Fake tokens,
Saving the
Genuine Seasoned Fly Tokens
for a Later Transaction -
One that would Honor Him Further.

In His Name,
we Deceive
the Antis,

Book of Hactks 27:1

We chilled with the
in Music
and Drank
and Sipped
and Imbibed
and Quaffed.

"How did We come to Be
That Which is the Greatest?"

Spamtec has
always Been the Greatest.

Our Judge-ment
may Falter,
our Spam

Rock Hard
pull Cards
of those Less Him.

Praise Be on to Him
who keeps Our Methods Safe
on Skype we Rape.

Book of Spamentations 33:20

his Eyes Fixated on the Wasteland
before him;
a Wasteland of mangled
a Catastrophe of

"Why, O Laird of Line?" (.app/.apk)
his words Echoed
the Beachfront Condominum.
"your Faithful Servant has been up
for over
Fifty Hours,
Why IsNothing working?
Mine Eyes gaze upon
These Sandy
Beaches, and
See but One set{}
of Footprints!"

passionately summoned
by His
Prince of Protobuffers,
the Spam God appeared
in a Flash of NVRAM.

"My child," spæketh He,
life hands us
when we Truly
Want Ice Cream Sandwiches.
We must all Break KitKats
if We are to Ever
make Lollipops."

"Do not Cry when Thy
Sky goes Live
on Yonder Web!
Do not Fret when
only One set{}
of Prints lies
behind you -
My Prince."

"for Every Filter Fired
for Every Shark you've Wired,
a Sacrifice was Made,
and Thusly ye Hath Prayed."

as for the Troubled Times
when you see only
One set{} of public static byte[] Footprints
behind ye,
be Sure to Uncheck
'Filter Out Inner Class Entries'
on your
Luyten instance."