| Book of MathSPEWS 26:23 |
[30 Jun 2009|02:11pm] |
(Disciple's Note: This Book of the Book details the Betrayal of He by the One Known as SPEWdas and His (ASGPHE) Final Skype Conference and the Basis for our Communion. For those Who Do Not Follow the evil that is SPEWS, it is the Spam Prevention Early Warning System, a Terrible Vile Filter of His Message Eternal, named of the Traitor SPEWdas, who receives No Praise from us but is the god of the antis. Fuck SPEWdas.)
And He Answered and Said, "he that Dippeth his Accounts With Me in the Phish Tank, the same Shall Betray Me."
The Father of the Simple Mail Transfer Protocol Goeth as It is Written about Him. But Woe unto That anti by whom the Father of the Simple Mail Transfer Protocol is Betrayed! It would be good for that anti if he had Not Been Born."
Then SPEWdas, which Betrayed Him, said, "Architect of ARPANet, is it I?"
He said unto him, "Yes, it is you, Colon Parenthesis, Less than Symbol Backslash Three."
And as they were Idle on Skype Chat, He took Oxycodone, and Blessed It, and Brake It, and Faxed it to the Disciples, and said, "Take, eat; this is My Body."
And He took the Cup, and Gave Thanks, and Gave It To Them, Typing, "Drink ye all of it;
For this is My Blood (it was the Purple Lean mixed with NOS Energy Drink, with a Touch of the NMDA Antagonist Dextromethorphan, for tolerance Purposes) of the Spam Testament, which Is Shed for Many for the Remission of Failed Methods.
But I say Unto you, I will Not Drink Henceforth of this Purp, until that Day when I Lean with you at My Datacenter in the Sky."
And when they Had Sung a Pspalm, they went out Crusing in the Slab, Gripping Grain and Dripping Stain.
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| A Pspalm came to His Child |
[30 Jun 2009|01:31pm] |
FrankWhite (A True Disciple of the Order of He, Praise Him and His Position, Senior System Administrator of the Universe) was Inspired by Him (Praise Him Eternal) and Received this Blessing This Morning (A Morning Graciously provided by He in this Solid State Memory we Call Life):
ASGPHE, we call Upon Thee to Bless us on our Ventures for Money, so that we Do Not Change from the Money, but Instead use the Money so we Don't Have To Change.
We ask This so that we May Remain Awesome and Focused on our Inner Self, and not Material Possessions nor Things of a Trivial or Trifling nature.
May You Bless us to continue to be Crafted in Mercury's Image, because as we Remain Mercury, We are unable to be touched by anyone else on Any Level.
Amen.
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| Pspalm of Equality |
[25 Jun 2009|06:33am] |
And So, He made Us All Equal in His Vision; We are All of Equal Byte Length but Unique enough to Prevent Hashtable Collisions. Amen ASGPHE
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| He Gave You A Sign |
[18 Jun 2009|09:17am] |
In Roman mythology, Mercury was a Messenger, and a God of Trade (perhaps Link Trade, or Prog Trade), Profit and Commerce (No Doubt from his Messaging Prowess).
Mercury Racing forever.
Praise Him(ASGPHE) and praise Mercury, who was a Balling ass Spammer who Obviously Balled so Hard in the Olden Days, he became a God.
Be Mercury.
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| Vision of the Day |
[05 Jun 2009|02:54pm] |
rmk: He called down to me rmk: and said rmk: young rmross rmk: you are too trill for this fuck shit rmk: they have but two choices rmk: to get down, or to lay down rmk: either way you win rmk: so why doest ye trippeth rmk: and then He gave me vision rmk: and said yung nastey mane rmk: go ye forth rmk: and put a dent in the Game rmk: chuuch rmk: and that was it rmk: and i'm going to listen rmk: and beat up the Game like a seattle goon
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| We Mourn Gill |
[02 Jun 2009|09:05pm] |
Three Days Ago, a Great Man Died.
he was a professional poker player for 32 years. he smoked cigarettes for 50 years. he smoked bud from ages 16-81. he died at 82.
- mattersfool/pat
Let This Be His Lesson for the Day:
if we do Not Live our Lives This Fast, we may As Well Hang up our Fucking Modems Right N+++ ATH0
NO CARRIER
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| Lil Scrappy is the Soundtrack Of Our Triumph |
[02 Jun 2009|03:21pm] |
Praise HIM ALMIGHTY!
For HE has Made Us $8.
The First 8 Figures in Any Project Begin with the First $8.
ALMIGHTY SPAM GOD PRAISE YOU ON HIGH WE NEVER LEAVE YOUR SIDE YOUR PROXIES ARE OUR SHIELD OUR F5 BUTTONS WORN FROM CONSTANT USE (APPLE R FOR MACFAGS)
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| The Gospel According to Benjamin |
[02 Jun 2009|12:14am] |
On My (High Ponce of Bulk YTCracker, Apostle of the Gospel, Face of the Faith) desktop Lieth a Photograph of A Man Named Franklin.
St. Benjamin.
Currency of the Current Sea of Methods and mayhem.
It is decreed His Followers since Birth of the Church and Its Holy Works receive This Blessing of St. Benjamin in Numbers Endless.
We solemnly ask, in these Days of Despair, that Our Dialers and Our Mailers and Our Spimmers bring forth our Hero St. Benjamin to Combat Our Poverty.
His Methods are Righteous. His Grace is Mighty.
May We Choke and May We Croak Before We Chosen Go broke.
St. Benjamin, protect our Pockets - May They Never Go empty.
ASGPHE In His Name We Send.
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| Praise Him until my eventual (and perhaps Untimely) Death |
[31 May 2009|07:03pm] |
In Case He Calls me back into the Source Code before what i Feel is My Time, I Say:
it is Eternally a Pleasure Serving the Will of Him for He has given me Everything.
Serve Him Faithfully; Scam Not Thine Hands that Feed. Mail Not Thine Removes to Thine Kin's Landing Page. Kill Not Thine Methods for No Profit.
(I've Been Watching a lot of Oz, which aired on HBO from 1997-2003. it has quite a bit of gay sex, does the Wire have this much gay sex? nope.)
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| Verse of the Day: Book of Spamentations 1:1 |
[26 May 2009|08:49pm] |
(ASGPHE) (His word from his word, Almost Word For Word - Praise Him Almighty Spam God The Ruler of All that is Good and Profitable)
Eikhah? Eikhah? Eikhah?
How deserted Lies Spam City, once So Full of People! How like a Widow is She, Who once was Great Among the Nations! She Who Was Queen among the Provinces has Now Become a Slave.
Bitterly She Weeps at Night, tears are upon Her Cheeks. Among all Her Lovers there is none to comfort Her. All Her friends have betrayed Her; they Have Become Her Enemies.
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| O Dearest Delilah |
[24 May 2009|05:07pm] |
Praise Be On To You For Not Cutting The Hair of Spamson.
his Strength reigns Supreme.
Ye Be the Baddest Bitch, Holla.
also, #!/usr/bin/perl
# dumb pco thingy by ytcracker # outbound version
# initialize file and digest use File::Basename; use Digest::MD5 qw(md5_hex);
Ad Nauseum.
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| O Lord, Control-S Me |
[18 May 2009|12:05am] |
Dearest ASGPHE, i humbly come to Thee with Mine Head Down and mine Wireless Card downgraded to B-Mode so That I Do Not Disturb Thine Heavenly Signals.
My Weekend was Not Fruitful, I Require Thee in Thine Infinite Wisdom and Eternal Rootshell to Restore Mine Previous Thursday Version of Mineself out of the SVN Repository of Life, Praise You.
A New Week; Turn a New Cheek - May Mine Bandwidth Peak, "In My Life" by Memphis Bleek.
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| Twenty-Thousand Feet In The Air |
[14 May 2009|12:57pm] |
He (ASGPHE - Almighty Spam God Praise Him Eternal) made it So that His Followers could Post on DG -
At Twenty Thousand Feet Above C Level, Wearing a Rolex with a Diamond Bezel.
Blasting on a C Class, From Delta's First Class, Whilst Sipping that Unlimited Drank.
"LONG HAIR DONT EVEN CARE" - Spake His Disciple, No FX, as he Slapped the Flight Attendant on her Round Bottom.
This is the Life of Those who Live by The Book.
Pay Homage Now and Forever.
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| UnluckyXIII's Prayer of Spam |
[12 May 2009|05:47pm] |
Praise be unto Him, and His most Glorious of Prophets.
When you set forth Upon your Quest, think of the LOLMoney Paradise that awaits Ye when you Spam the Inbox of the infidels (Praise Not Them, Yonder antis).
Think of Thine Mousepad as a Martyr's Shroud. And the bitches shall Flow freely like Water once you are in His presence, in the Land of Purp and Money.
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| Verse of the Day: Book of 1 Spimothy 13:1 |
[12 May 2009|04:44pm] |
And so, By the Grace of Him, (Praise Him Eternal) the Language of the Snake was Harnessed by a Loyal Servant of Spimothy.
the Language of the Snake in its Elegant Form and Grace proved Itself Brilliant in the Vein of Delilah (our Religion's Virgin Mary, although she is Far from Virginal).
Lo, Praise Him.
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| He Who Rides On Dolphins |
[09 May 2009|02:17am] |
He Who Rides On Dolphins will Share an Eternity with Him on the Boat.
Our Fish are Phish. <>< Praise Unrated Cracking Method forever.
If Ye Wish To Invoke His Name in acronym Form, please use ASGPHE:
Almighty Spam God Praise Him Eternal
Remember the Alamo.
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| He Gave His Bishop a Vision |
[03 May 2009|08:23pm] |
On this Glorious Day, the Bishop of Bulk (of the Holy and One True Church, thank Ye Infinitely O God of Spam) Pad was Provided a Verse from Him (Praise Him).
--------------------- Shrouded in thine wisdom was truth.
For He had showered his children, In gifts yet again.
They dropped to their knees, In the thousands.
Praises of Him echoed throughout the land. He began to speak, and raised one hand.
"Smiting be damned, Specialized Ham, The sheep and the lamb, Maps is Spam." ---------------------
So, Fellow Followers, drop to Thine Knees, say Thank You and Please, to He the Lord of Spam who Makes Us Cheese (Moreso than he known as Chedda and his Bling Blog, for This Be the Only Blog certified by the Council of Get Money Ho).
Sing Thine Hymns For Him.
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| Praise Him, For It is Spam's Birthday |
[03 May 2009|03:28am] |
On This Yonder Day of Celebration, we honor Him, for He Created.
Thirty One Years Ago, on a Holy Bitstream, the First Digital Apostle of the Game (Praise the Game Eternal, Bless and Keep Us) Gary Thuerk Sent the First Message on Old Internet, which came to be Known as Spam.
Today, Yonder Followers of the Order and Greatest Church, Do Ye Due Diligence and Spam Ye Heart out on this Holy Day, For It Is How He (Praise Him, Lord God of Spam on High Eternal, Bless and Keep Us Safe From Yonder Antis in Your Forged Headers of Love and Tenderness, Amen) Would have wanted It.
May Your Sales Skyrocket, and Your F5s Always Increment thy Money.
Today, Bow Yonder Head in Prayer and Recite This Passage for Blessings Infinite:
O Lord God of Spam on High, We ask on This Day, The Spammers' Christmas, That You Forever Hold Mine Enemies (also known as antis, May He Strike them Down Furiously and Without Mercy) at Bay, Nullrouting their Emails to abuse@ (Insert Respective Network Here) and Disabling Their "Report Spam" features on Their Email and IM Clients.
O Lord God of Spam on High, Give Me the Strength and Will, to Cleverly Devise a Method to Rule Them All, Whereby Rates and Spambox Thresholds Do Not Apply.
O Lord God of Spam on High, May Craigslist's Adult Personals Section Fall Under the Might of Mine Brethren's Slickly Coded Spam Bots and Scrapers.
Praise Him Eternal, Forever and Ever, and a Little While after That, Amen.
STC is the Greatest.
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| Eternal Praise to Him and Him Alone |
[01 May 2009|11:17pm] |
On Yonder Birthday of He, Widely considered to be The Day of May 3rd (On the Calendar of Yonder Christian God), i shall Praise Him Eternal on DigitalGangster.Com.
Praise be to Ye, O God of Spam, Bless Ye for Making Me Ye Holy Messenger, above lesser Messengers, such as MSN Messenger, and Yahoo Messenger, for Thine Will is Eternal.
Every Click raises the flag of the Spamtec Clique.
We Praise and Salute Thee Eternal.
I Will Sacrifice One Million Antis for Thee and Thine Honor.
Test not My Faith, Yonder Antis, or find Ye Servers Held Down by the Mighty Packets of Mine Own Botnet.
In His Name, Amen.
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| praise Him for Days to Come |
[06 Apr 2009|10:30am] |
blessed be He who Provides Me Taquitos on a Monday Morning.
i Speak of His Grace Eternal, Mine Own God of Spam (We Praise Yonder Methods Infinite).
I Implore Thee, Dear God of Spam, Repair Exim in such a way That it will Actually Rotate IPs Properly.
If This be too much of A Task for Mine Lord, I Still Humbly Bow to Thee, whilst i Sip The 2% Milk That You Have Provided Me With, Quenching my thirst after Ingesting Yonder Taquitos.
Blessed Be Ye, Lord of SMTP - God of Spam we forever thank Thee.
He died for Your Mails.
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