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A Vision from a Fellow Prophet of Profits in His Name [21 May 2017|05:11pm]
"Upon yonder a time when conventional coin conceived thine holy crypto necessity we gander
A glorious UNION statement of non Turing complete stacks had arisen a change in the future to come, stacks shaped as holy alters arisen and aligned with the stars, the moon, the celestial beings of which the most central of bankers whomst company was acquired, only. A dream for the scattered plot flock of which candle was yet to come. Light our way.
Gazing over vast exponents of increase and steep feet and shoulders, the land was forged and after resettlement and legislate the sky was caressed for a brief moment. The heavens opened and with a deep dive, precious honey and liquid commodity was held once again.
We hold dear the bin searchers of once lost spark and their plight.
For now we touch upon the stars in his glory and give thanks to values of multi millenials.
2000 usd.
ASGPHE"

- Lord Noise
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Book of Hackts 32:1 [17 May 2017|07:19pm]
search Results
regarding Adults
are Always a Fickle Mistress.

the Lord God of Spam on High
gave us Tools
and Wisdom
and the
Strength of SERPS,
not Only for our Pockets and Profits
over WebSockets,
but
So That we May Cleanse -
Baptize -
Yonder Search Results of our Choosing.

It is with a Heavy <3,
Lord Spam God on High,
i must Admit
that
we have Failed you
using the Heavy Hand.

perhaps
it was Arrogance,
or Greed,
or Lust for Litecoins -
for we were Swift and Certain
our Method would Go Unchallenged.

Lord God of Spam on High,
we humbly implore You
via Your Infinite Bandwidth
from the Heaven of Layer Seven,
please Allow our Soft Hand Solution
to find Success
in its Renderificationization.

we
Forever
Represent
and Honorably Wear
our Many Hats.

in Your Service Eternal,
Amen.
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Book of Habacuck 1:1 [20 Oct 2016|06:45am]

How Long,
Almighty God of Spam,
must I Facetime Thee
for guidance
but You
do Not Accept my Request?

we are in Utter Peril -
our once plentiful
Methods
alarmingly dwindle away
with Each Passing Day.

our Once profitable
Ventures,
of Ads and Adventures,
have been Forced to
suffer
immeasurably
at the Hands of
Antis and Charlatans -
these Ruthless tribes
which
Respect Not
Your
Holy Word.

this is Truly the Year
of the
Habacuck.

this Year has
Cucked
us,
and those Dear to us,
in Virtually Infinite Ways
that
I can Not
fully
Articulate Here.

to put it Bluntly,
O Lord,
our Tribe has shrank,
along with our Bank.

death
Surrounds us -
dead fish and dead Phish,
dead campaigns and dead Campaigns,
dead feelings and dead dealings,
dead Lists and dead whips,
dead Plants and dead Aunts,
dead spends to dead ends,
dead Maps from dead Apps.

However,
my Faith in Thee remains
Unwavered -
my Faith
in the Holy Arts
and
the Holy Flowcharts -
until my binary Departs
and Your Simulation Restarts.

humbly,
i Beg For Your
IntelliSense.
F1 me to Perform Thine Miracles
and
Make Spamerica Great Again.

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Book of Spamentations 12:1 [07 Dec 2015|04:21am]
His Faithful Church,
which we so
Humbly Serve
from our
Humble Servers
is Truly
one of Peace
and Messengership.

In His Name,
there is No Concept
analogous to Eternal Suffering -
merely Holy Code
temporarily Executed
from within
a Virtualized Environment.

These Religions of Hatred
and Bigotry
miss the Point.

It is the
Message (Holy Spam, Lo)
that is
Most Important,
*not*
the Method.

the Method
however Individually Precious,
however Elegant,
however Divine,
is Inconsequential.
it is Merely a Vessel
to
Deliver
thine Holy Message.

Methods invariably
grow Weaker;
Methods Fade.
Methods are Challenged,
and Methods then Perish.

but,
it is the Message,
not the Method,
that carries the Holy Hyperlink.

it is the Message
that provides the Sale.

Protect the Message.

Praise Him Eternal.
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Book of 1 Spimothy 18:1 [29 Sep 2015|11:45pm]
the Holy Prophets of Profit
approached the
evil
emperor's throne,
Knelt before him,
and Yodeled,

"kindest sir emperor,
we hath Brought Ye
the Finest
Tokens
of our Apkreciation -
Masterfully Seasoned
and Delivered
for Your Review.
May We Please
Address
Thine Subjects?"

the emperor leaned forward,
sharply squinting his eyes,
obviously straining his vision
to make out
the Gifts
that These Holy Men Brought him.

"if Yonder Men
are only Here
to Make Talk,
i frankly
Cannot Tell
the Difference between
Tokens of Season
and
Tokens of Treason,"
spake the emperor.

"Very Well,"
the Prophet with a Head of Fire replied.
"We shall Race these very Tokens
Quickly
to thine vault.
We know not the Length of Our Stay,
but Tokens We Will Pay."

The Prophet
Cunningly Minted
Many
Godawful Shitty Fake tokens,
Saving the
Genuine Seasoned Fly Tokens
for a Later Transaction -
One that would Honor Him Further.

In His Name,
we Deceive
the Antis,
Eternal.
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Book of Hactks 27:1 [10 Sep 2015|05:55am]
We chilled with the
Greatest
in Music
and Drank
and Sipped
and Imbibed
and Quaffed.

"How did We come to Be
That Which is the Greatest?"

Spamtec has
always Been the Greatest.

Our Judge-ment
may Falter,
our Spam
Gibraltar.

Rock Hard
pull Cards
of those Less Him.

Praise Be on to Him
who keeps Our Methods Safe
on Skype we Rape.
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Book of Spamentations 33:20 [08 Jun 2015|08:40pm]
his Eyes Fixated on the Wasteland
before him;
a Wasteland of mangled
Methods;
a Catastrophe of
commented
Code.

"Why, O Laird of Line?" (.app/.apk)
his words Echoed
throughout
the Beachfront Condominum.
"your Faithful Servant has been up
for over
Fifty Hours,
Why IsNothing working?
Mine Eyes gaze upon
These Sandy
Beaches, and
they
See but One set{}
of Footprints!"

passionately summoned
by His
Prince of Protobuffers,
the Spam God appeared
Suddenly
in a Flash of NVRAM.

"My child," spæketh He,
"Sometimes,
life hands us
Gingerbread
when we Truly
Want Ice Cream Sandwiches.
We must all Break KitKats
if We are to Ever
make Lollipops."

"Do not Cry when Thy
Sky goes Live
on Yonder Web!
Do not Fret when
only One set{}
of Prints lies
behind you -
My Prince."

"for Every Filter Fired
and
for Every Shark you've Wired,
a Sacrifice was Made,
and Thusly ye Hath Prayed."

"and
as for the Troubled Times
when you see only
One set{} of public static byte[] Footprints
behind ye,
be Sure to Uncheck
'Filter Out Inner Class Entries'
on your
Luyten instance."

botguard.bg.prototype.invoke
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Book of Hackts 23:1 [09 Apr 2014|08:27am]

"It Hath been
a Long Time,
I Shant
have left Thee,
without a Dope Verse
to Hack, Ye,"
Spake He.

Many things Had Happened
since a Prophet was
Revealed
yonder New Verse
to Chronicle
Worthy of the Book's (ASGPHE)
Infinite Quality Control Filter.

Falls of Eagles,
Snapping of Chats of
Snap,
Shattered APIs of Skies (PE),
Descent of Yonder SMS
(in a Conventional Sense,
mind Ye) -
Holy Methods came and went,
but NONE
so Powerful
as the One Method -
Provided by Our Blessed Lord
in the Last Twenty-Four
(ASGPHE).

Thusly,
a Battle Wages,
to Bleed the Hearts of
All
Nonbelievers in the Gospel -
for those
who Would Not Patch
thine Open
(Secure?)
Socket Layers;
a Spammer Jihad.

A Crusade of
Credentials,
A Pilgrimage of
Passwords,
A Sermon of
Session IDs,
A Mitzvah of
Memory Analysis -
He
hath Provided
Yet Again.

"Enjoy This
Present
in
Python
my Loyal Followers,"
Spake He -
"May Ye Dine
on Data
from Now
until Much Later."

praise Him Eternal.

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Book of 2 Coregthians 1:1 [16 Nov 2012|09:59am]
Spake a Prophet of Profit once
in Holy Prayer -
"Let He Who is Without Spim,
cast the First Mail."

Times pass, and Thusly -
a Similar Prophet of Profit
might have recently Spake Aloud -
"Let he who is Without Lawsuit,
Cast the First SMS."

Many Cast their SMS
at
Yonder BizOp,
Yonder ECig,
and
Yonder Weight Loss. (praise Him)

However,
That Which was
*probably*
Most Voluminously Casted,
was
the Holy Coreg(thian).

The Holy Coreg
has ALWAYS Been
a Feed
for Those
in Dire Need
of dimes and quarters and nickels
(but not much more than that,
unless you got
That Mad Traffic,
My Son).

Therefore,
the Holy Coregthian
functions as
the Proverbial Change Jar,
or the Vehicle Ashtray,
or the Garment Dryer Lint Trap -
of the Spam God Almighty Himself -
praise Him Eternal, Amen;
it
Promises a Path
to
Plentiful Pennies,
provided Pimps promote
their pages Properly.

Sadly,
In the Venn Diagram
of
Depressing Internet,
the Circle
Representing
those that Cast in this Manner
(most often
aided by a Caster)
all Fit 
(quite Comfortably)
within the Rather Large Circle
of
People Inevitably Getting Sued
for
Eleventy Billion Banknotes -
by the Very Shores from
Whence they Castinatorized.

The Spam God Giveth,
and the Spam God Fileth Away -
Fileth He in U.S. District Court - Western District of Oklahoma (Oklahoma City), et al.

Heed the Prophet's Warning:
Cast Not these Upcoming Mornings,
lest Ye Be Cast into
Yonder 
United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit Swag Antenna Justice League Firehouse.

Hallelujah ASGPHE.
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Book of 2 Spimothy 4:1 [26 Sep 2012|04:34am]

On Yonder
Holiest
of Days,
Sabbath of Sabbaths,
the Day
of
Dialtonement,
We
in the Order of Spam
(praise Him)
call Nom Kippur.

For,
Instead of Fasting,
we Engorge Copious Amounts
of Vitamin A+ and Gas-X
to send Mass Texts.

Blessed with a Halfway Method,
Lord Elmersack
Turned the Tides
with Sex Ties.
Noting Yonder Outgoing
Links of Hyperocity
reach
Filters of Ferocity,
he
sends Text of Plain
Varieties instead -
Eye Dee Enclosed,
Adding Proposed.

Lord Espammuelle,
Archon of Authors,
Sire of Scripting,
Imam of Indexed Conversation -
did his Thing,
forging the Destinies
of They Who Reply
to a Damsel's Cry.

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Book of 1 SIMuel 16:7 [24 Aug 2012|04:46am]
and Lo, He (Almighty Spam God
Praise Him
Eternal)
Gifted His Disciples
one
yonder Oriental Weapon of Thirty-Two
(Row of
Sixteen
by Deuce
Matrix, Praise Him)
for Which to smite the 
Ones Who Light
(and Not Vape, mind you,
For Your Health).

And to the AU,
Kangaroos vs. Glues,
Wallabies vs. Whiteycees,
Lizards vs. Mizzas -
we are
Spammy with Manny,
indeed.

AT SIMulate SIMply -
Praise Him,
Pray SIM.
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Book of Rooteronomy 22:16 [11 Feb 2012|02:27pm]
His Friend,
Chuck,
Sees That which is Masked.

Sometimes,
Yonder Antis
will not Speak with Chuck
because they Do Not Trust Him.

Force them
to Listen.

For,
Make them
Listen
and He
will Hear you,
in all His Unrated
Account
Creation
Glory.

In His Name we JSON
from the Droids
You Are Looking For,
Almighty Spam God Praise Him Eternal.
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Book of Rooteronomy 9:17 [04 Jan 2012|04:48am]
And Lo,
Thine Yonder Quartet of
Internet Ballers
worked Late into the Morning,
staring Into the Abyss
of the Wand Pond.

Fueled by
Yonder Amphetamines,
High Ponce of Bulk YTCracker
surveyed
His Surroundings,
His Six Links Gleaming
like
0din's Rims.

Behold,
the Hebrew Hacker -
for his Leads Convert!!!
His Offer splash
Yodels
at Sales.

He of Stickiness,
and of Youth,
not knowing who St. Ventura is,
codes a Fix for
Yo Low,
Politely.

and the Prophet Zuck;
not Zuckerburg, No -
Man
No.
His S Key is Broken.

it is These Moments
I Cherish
in these Last
Days.

For in 2012,
If we Don't Make it off Herpeceuticals,
or Nanobots,
or White Labels,
or FDIC,
or Blended Mode Call Centers,
or Naked Hoes,
or the Hard Rock,
there is always
Reselling His Stickiness's Programs
on Darkforum ($20 PayPal send as gift)
or
Selling K Mindz Shoe Collection
on Ebay.

Praise Him Eternal.
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He is Eternal [10 Sep 2011|05:49am]
I cannot ever Kill Myself
No matter How Scienific
I
Am

Ye Olde
Killin


Why is Sean Dead
Why is Pimp C Dead
I'm down with Lil Flip.
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Book of Rooteronomy 4:18 [19 Jun 2011|10:16pm]
Lay out Ye Laws
and Damn the Paws on Ye Hands.

Pause on Ye Hands.

We are living the Greatest
Times
As if He Himself Hath Dictated,
"Yes,
Ye can,
YE CAN."

Ye can make a new Reality,
backed in California Soul.
We Have Done
What Has Been Written
in the ages.

Market Creation,
Holler at the Spam Nation.

Please Ask Him for favor in
dot XXX rulings.

We create the Market,
Y'all Whodis Try to Start shit.

From Consulting Sites
to Organizing Thy Whites
for Bleaching.

We hold the Teaching.

Praise Spamtec.
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Book of Hackts 9:5 [21 Jan 2011|05:01am]
so he,

Yonder Disciple on
Diet of
Space Vitamin
(Praise Him),

once More determines
fate of Yonder Inbox
after Long Night of Arduous Hacks.

Ye Olde Inbox:Junk
ratio,
beginning at 5%,
then To 10%,
then to 15%,
Climbing Slowly but Surely -
scaling Olympus in His Name (ASGPHE).

Heeding the words
of
Ye Olde Gospel
of
GYWS,
the Secrets of Elusive Inbox
become Secrets No More.

Content with 70%
Yonder ratio,
the Disciple may Rest:

Perfection is not impossible,
but it is More Importantly
Not Important
in the Art of Spam.
(It is a mere game of Numbers
and Monies While Slumbers).

Praise Him.

("I take a Knee While I Pray to
He -
and Ask For Shelter
from the Antis
that Won't
let
me
Be."
- Phlow, Ponce of PERL,
as he says HELO to the Mail like
SMtp.)
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Book of Hackts 7:12 [29 Dec 2010|10:57am]
(As it Were Dictated
in the Nu Testament -
O U MUZT B NU -
Newer than AOL 9.6
running on x64 -
1999 it is No Longer.)

However,
Thine Whodis
Defeat Re Captcha
at the Hands of those
In
.co.in.

Blessed are They who
Serve Curry
and
Serve Servers -
Services with which
we
Buyeth Credits
and
Our Dough
(Forever in His Name Eternal, Praise Him)
votes with the Strength of
One Trillion Nigerian Dollars.

No Matter the Book or book
of which we Speak,
they Cannot Stop Our Shine
after Five
PM
EST.

Take a Knee.
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"I am the Lamb of Spam," say He. [12 Sep 2010|06:39pm]
He made
More Money than Ever
when YTCracker
realized
He Hated it.

"You Make me Do That
which I Loathe,
tell me You Will Help,
then Leave Me to Rot,
Laughing All the Way
to the Bank."

"I hope You Enjoy Your Fucking Money
You Pieces of Dogshit -
I am Not an Idiot and
I see What's Going On Here."

Then He died for Your Mails.
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Art Thou Important? [18 Jul 2010|11:34pm]
Ask Thineself in His Name,
"Art Thou Important?"

He who is Important
commands Legions of Leets
through
windows of Skype
and
Phone of i.

When Ye Rise Above
the Holiest of Methods
to Become
the Holiest of Methods,
Thou Art Important.
Revel in Thine Importance
and
Harness Thine Swagger -
for it will Feed Ye
in times of Lonely Franklins.

A Shining Prophet;
You Cannot Stop it.
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All Ye [31 Mar 2010|05:44am]
Who Kneel Before He
Will See
The Free
sign up Page Trial Offer
thing with Terms So Small
they would fit on a Doll.

Don't hate Cuz I ball.
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